倦

最近恋上使用华语来表达心中所想，感觉好像。。。比较能表达我所想表达的。糟糕了，英文就会越来越差哦。。哈哈:P
倦，这一个单字，就可以用来形容所有不欢，不快乐，难过，疲劳，疲惫，厌倦。。。等等。好一个‘倦’字！呵呵～是啊，我现在是倦了。。工作？友情？爱情？健康？真的有好多的事情要烦。出去和朋友聚会，就老是问我，何时丢个’红炸弹‘啊？你以后要打算如何？你们之间要怎么解决？而我的回复，只有微笑和叹气；能避就避，能不回答，就不回答。
突然间，我觉得我倦了。是因为我老了吗？怎么没了年轻人轰轰烈烈的感情？爱到死去活来的或是没了对方就仿佛世界末日了！我很怀疑，我到底在坚持什么。。有人问到，你死心了吗？心，死了，就没有可能复活了。绝望了，还有机会，就是等待奇迹。死心的定义是什么？绝望的呢？恋爱的感觉，被背叛的滋味。。。我好像都麻木了。竟然到了我都能很冷静地对待一切所发生的事件。我为什么会变成这样呢？真的好想找回自我，找回无忧无虑，为了爱情不顾一切的我。。但是，我也很不喜欢那样的我 - 只为爱情而活，其他都是其次。现在回想起来都觉得很笨！ :(
嗨。。。这也不行，那也不行。。真不知我在想什么。荷尔蒙失调吧？！！哈哈哈哈。。发现，最近的帖子都蛮忧愁伤感，对不起所有的读者咯。。唯有这里，我才能好好发泄一下我心里的不愉快。
睏了，今天就写到这里吧，晚安！:):)

气

有时我真的不明白，到底是我想太多，还是他的表现真的如此？对朋友就可以全力以赴，可对我就马马虎虎。。。难道一定要等到失去以后，才懂得珍惜吗？忍了又忍，机会给了又给，结果还是一样。答应过的事，从来没有实行过；更别说他的承诺。知道内幕的人都说，你还等什么？这样拖泥带水并不能解决问题，乘早放手吧～其实，我也不知道我在想什么。真的很多时候很想放弃，累了，但无处可诉苦。朋友有难，他一定拔刀相助，见义勇为，是很好的性格。但是，却不用在我身上。我有难，都得自己解决；我有苦，只能自己想办法。就连要告诉他喜讯，我都得等个三天三夜，才能找到他。 我要是投诉了，就说我想太多！男生都是这样的吗？！女朋友是拿来疼的！真是的！
每一次回来，都会有同样的想法出现，但从来都没勇气去实行它，只怕到时会后悔。算算一下，23岁了，大学也快毕业了，怎么我的感情路那么的不好走。真的很累耶。。。到底我应该怎么做。。。 :(

happy

result was released yesterday and i passed everything!!!!! I'm so happy cause i expected one might fail.-.- and surprisingly, the one i thought that will fail, actually is the highest among all 3 units. oh well, at least i passed!!! so happy! cause next sem I only left one day with classes. yes, ONE day out of SEVEN days. OMG! i only have 12 days with 60hours of classes.=.= what a relax last sem in uni.hahaha.hopefully can pass everything smoothly and can come back to help my mum.
came back miri 2 weeks ago, have been working and busy non stop.=.= now i know how hard my dad worked last time. went outstation, local markets etc. tiring cause need to walk a lot since im not good in parking and stupid council, we have LITTLE amount of parking spaces. hopefully can keep fit cause i walk a lot. :P a lot of things to catch up and learn, real world is not as 'easy' as we thought it might be. haih. jia you jia you!!
just heard from one of my best friends that he has gf already, for almost half a year.=.= and i didnt know about it until half an hour ago?! kinda..sad cause I'm pretty sure we cant be as close as we were last time since he has gf already. Just like what I have mentioned in my previous post, pure friendship between man and woman is hard in real life especially. :( looks like I have one less best friend now. haih. but, still happy for him cause he finally found his mrs right. congratz!!! :) all the best to you! stay sweet! ^.^