pi-ss-ed o-f-f

i never thought of that, i would post this straight away after my birthday post which meant to be a happy post.but this one, obviously its not.
firstly, i really have no idea what i have been insisting for past few years. Its just getting worse until the point, we cant even talk to each other. whats the point?i never understood whats in your mind and i already tried my best to understand it. but ended up, more misunderstanding and more 'cold war'. sometime, i'm really tired of keep holding it. I kind of agree with people saying that, if i dont hold it, i might be happier.what should i do?i have been wondering that for a while.what i got was, i dont know. :S where were you when you were needed?
the most pissed-EST off thing was, mum accidentally found out what happened 5 years ago.wth.FIVE YEARS man! FREAKING FIVE YEARS! just very very unlucky that she found out from my cousin and i told her the story.and she blamed me.if i didnt make that decision, everyone would be happy and nothing happen. i was like, wtf?!! i was the innocent one, and yet, everyone blamed me! wtf wtf. I went through those things by MYSELF ALONE ok?! she went through with everyone! people thought i was the guilty one, instead I WAS THE VICTIM! just because i look strong outside, doesnt mean I wont get bullied ok?! she looked soft, so she deserved to be protected and put blame on others?! common! I had public exams too, my parents didnt even know about that incident! mum said, if something happen to her, i would be one who was the main cause.wtf.im her daughter wei.GOD DAM IT!
what a day! what a dayyyyyyy!!!!! again, i have no one to talk to.out of a sudden, im tired of my life. i know, lots of people out there are more unlucky if compare to me. i'm not giving up life, i'm just pure tired. according to a research, tear can represent the pressure that you have. the more you cry, the more pressure that you have released. once i thought i would not cry again just because of these stuffs, and yet, i broke my own principle.
what should i do..what should be my best decision..haih..